Yeah, my dad is like that: the first thing he says about a woman is whether she's heavy or not, like Dad! How about something else??? He would get on my sister's case for eating a lot. He didn't get on mine because I was, ta-da, briefly anorexic! Or pre-anorexic. So for me it was you're-going-to-damage-your-kidneys-and-never-be-able-to-have-kids. I must not have had it very bad because under threats and scare stories from my parents, I buckled under and drank lots of eggnog shakes, and that was that. I don't know why it happened... I wasn't any more preoccupied with my weight than any other girl my age at that time. I guess I wanted to be very ethereal, like not part of this tainted world or something, but IDK, not really all that much? Whatever.
As a consequence of that, we don't have a scale in my house--my kids did not have the opportunity to weigh themselves at home. And I never talked about weight (theirs or mine) or diets. They seem mainly okay with weight stuff? But they're adults; I'd probably be the last to know.
It's a weird heuristic, weight. Like it stands in for so many other things, when really it shouldn't. And then there's parents just getting on kids' cases for not being little duplicates of them, or for not being some ideal they hold. My mother's parents used to get on her case for reading too much because, IDK, they wanted her to be, like, outdoorsy or whatnot. Now that's shifted to wanting kids to read instead of playing video games.
Oh, PS (based on your reply to the commenter above): You absolutely don't need to comment on my entries. I enjoy your writing, both the style and the substance, and will keep reading and commenting until I get the sense that you don't want me to. But many people whom I like and follow on here don't comment much on my entries, and that doesn't bother me--I have other people who do, and it's all good.
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Date: 2025-09-06 05:51 pm (UTC)As a consequence of that, we don't have a scale in my house--my kids did not have the opportunity to weigh themselves at home. And I never talked about weight (theirs or mine) or diets. They seem mainly okay with weight stuff? But they're adults; I'd probably be the last to know.
It's a weird heuristic, weight. Like it stands in for so many other things, when really it shouldn't. And then there's parents just getting on kids' cases for not being little duplicates of them, or for not being some ideal they hold. My mother's parents used to get on her case for reading too much because, IDK, they wanted her to be, like, outdoorsy or whatnot. Now that's shifted to wanting kids to read instead of playing video games.
Oh, PS (based on your reply to the commenter above): You absolutely don't need to comment on my entries. I enjoy your writing, both the style and the substance, and will keep reading and commenting until I get the sense that you don't want me to. But many people whom I like and follow on here don't comment much on my entries, and that doesn't bother me--I have other people who do, and it's all good.