looping nostalgic; or, why Dreamwidth?
Jul. 6th, 2025 02:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
f0rrestEveryone has their golden age, their halcyon days, their shining era, that nostalgic place they forever wish to return to. It’s usually some youthful period where, in hindsight, everything seemed to glow and there seemed to be no problems whatsoever, even when there were all sorts of problems, we just forget, for some reason, by choice or otherwise.
Often, when we’re actually living in that golden moment, we don’t even realize it, we take it for granted, and it’s only in looking back that we recognize how good we had it, and sometimes we didn’t even have it very good, there’s just a particular feeling, a vibe, a certain aura from that bygone age that we can’t quite shake. We become obsessed with it. It consumes us. It even becomes part of our identity. We can't live without it.
You see it all the time, like grandpa only listening to Sinatra on vinyl and wearing the same style clothing from when he was sixteen, or mom watching Cheers reruns all night despite having seen the episodes hundreds of times before, or dad refusing to use text messaging because back in his day you had to call people and actually hear their voice, and, according to him, there’s just something incredibly anti-social about text messaging, or grown adults who haven’t played a new video game or watched a new movie in twenty years because they just don’t make ’em like they used to or whatever.
I guarantee you, if you start to look for it, you’ll notice that everyone around you is looping nostalgic, in some way or other, it’s all over the place.
I’m saying all this because I’m no different, forever reaching out, trying to grasp Arcadia, never quite getting my hands around it. I obsess over my salad days. It’s actually so bad that I would consider it a character flaw, if pressed. I read the same books, play the same games, and listen to the same music I did back when I was like fifteen, each of those things transports me back to a time and place, envelops me in a certain wistful ambience that is almost akin to smoking crack, if I’m being honest. It really feels no different than an addiction, at times, and sometimes I start to wonder if it prevents me from appreciating the here and now, always living in the past like I do. I’ve actually written several essays on this topic, all of which are available online in one place or another, so I’m not going to rehash all that. The bottom line is, this nostalgic wanderlust, and the consequences of such, has led me here, to Dreamwidth.
You see, my halcyon days were like from 2003 to 2009, around then. That was my coming-of-age period, and everything that I was into back then kind of stuck. I had like a million different LiveJournals back then, in fact, you can find my final one, from 2008 or so, right here, on Wayback Machine, it's kind of embarrassing, though, as these things usually are. I would write about all sorts of stuff, from misguided critiques of media to cringe love letters penned to my bygone girlfriends, who also had their own LiveJournals, to short stories that were pretty much rips of Cowboy Bebop or video games I was playing at the time, to straight back-and-forth fantasy role-playing with other people. I was always writing. I loved to write, still do.
Anyway, the point is, that’s why I’m here, I got the urge to start another LiveJournal, to do some less formal writing, to chronicle my day-to-day life, like I used to do, back in 2008 or whatever. But, when I went to create a new LiveJournal, I was met with a harsh reality, that being, I cannot return to the golden age, it’s long gone, everything changes, and no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to truly return to those golden years. I knew this already, I really did, but, upon navigating to the old LiveJournal URL that I knew so well, and being met with a somewhat familiar but very uncanny version of said site, which now defaults to the Russian language for some reason, the truth was plainly obvious.
Everything changes, nothing lasts forever, we may be able to capture some semblance of what once was, but we will never return, ever.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s OK.
I don’t know.
It’s harmful to always live in the past, sometimes we should let things go, remember things how they were, but not try to recreate them, over and over, lest we tarnish the memory, create a copy, then a copy of a copy, then a copy of a copy of a copy, and, before we know it, the thing we once loved is now so faded in our memory, so lacking ink, that we can barely remember it for what it truly was.
Sometimes I worry that, perhaps, I have become like a drug addict, forever chasing that first epic high. I don’t know. I’m rambling.
Anyway, that’s why I’m here, on Dreamwidth. I wanted to create a new LiveJournal, pretend like it was 2007 or whatever, but LiveJournal is no longer what it once was, so instead, I came here, to Dreamwidth, which isn’t exactly the same, but I ask you, does it have to be?
Often, when we’re actually living in that golden moment, we don’t even realize it, we take it for granted, and it’s only in looking back that we recognize how good we had it, and sometimes we didn’t even have it very good, there’s just a particular feeling, a vibe, a certain aura from that bygone age that we can’t quite shake. We become obsessed with it. It consumes us. It even becomes part of our identity. We can't live without it.
You see it all the time, like grandpa only listening to Sinatra on vinyl and wearing the same style clothing from when he was sixteen, or mom watching Cheers reruns all night despite having seen the episodes hundreds of times before, or dad refusing to use text messaging because back in his day you had to call people and actually hear their voice, and, according to him, there’s just something incredibly anti-social about text messaging, or grown adults who haven’t played a new video game or watched a new movie in twenty years because they just don’t make ’em like they used to or whatever.
I guarantee you, if you start to look for it, you’ll notice that everyone around you is looping nostalgic, in some way or other, it’s all over the place.
I’m saying all this because I’m no different, forever reaching out, trying to grasp Arcadia, never quite getting my hands around it. I obsess over my salad days. It’s actually so bad that I would consider it a character flaw, if pressed. I read the same books, play the same games, and listen to the same music I did back when I was like fifteen, each of those things transports me back to a time and place, envelops me in a certain wistful ambience that is almost akin to smoking crack, if I’m being honest. It really feels no different than an addiction, at times, and sometimes I start to wonder if it prevents me from appreciating the here and now, always living in the past like I do. I’ve actually written several essays on this topic, all of which are available online in one place or another, so I’m not going to rehash all that. The bottom line is, this nostalgic wanderlust, and the consequences of such, has led me here, to Dreamwidth.
You see, my halcyon days were like from 2003 to 2009, around then. That was my coming-of-age period, and everything that I was into back then kind of stuck. I had like a million different LiveJournals back then, in fact, you can find my final one, from 2008 or so, right here, on Wayback Machine, it's kind of embarrassing, though, as these things usually are. I would write about all sorts of stuff, from misguided critiques of media to cringe love letters penned to my bygone girlfriends, who also had their own LiveJournals, to short stories that were pretty much rips of Cowboy Bebop or video games I was playing at the time, to straight back-and-forth fantasy role-playing with other people. I was always writing. I loved to write, still do.
Anyway, the point is, that’s why I’m here, I got the urge to start another LiveJournal, to do some less formal writing, to chronicle my day-to-day life, like I used to do, back in 2008 or whatever. But, when I went to create a new LiveJournal, I was met with a harsh reality, that being, I cannot return to the golden age, it’s long gone, everything changes, and no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to truly return to those golden years. I knew this already, I really did, but, upon navigating to the old LiveJournal URL that I knew so well, and being met with a somewhat familiar but very uncanny version of said site, which now defaults to the Russian language for some reason, the truth was plainly obvious.
Everything changes, nothing lasts forever, we may be able to capture some semblance of what once was, but we will never return, ever.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s OK.
I don’t know.
It’s harmful to always live in the past, sometimes we should let things go, remember things how they were, but not try to recreate them, over and over, lest we tarnish the memory, create a copy, then a copy of a copy, then a copy of a copy of a copy, and, before we know it, the thing we once loved is now so faded in our memory, so lacking ink, that we can barely remember it for what it truly was.
Sometimes I worry that, perhaps, I have become like a drug addict, forever chasing that first epic high. I don’t know. I’m rambling.
Anyway, that’s why I’m here, on Dreamwidth. I wanted to create a new LiveJournal, pretend like it was 2007 or whatever, but LiveJournal is no longer what it once was, so instead, I came here, to Dreamwidth, which isn’t exactly the same, but I ask you, does it have to be?
no subject
Date: 2025-07-07 02:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-07-08 02:53 am (UTC)Don't even get me started on Substack culture. The majority of users there, I've found, seem to like the idea of writing more than writing itself, and it has become this sort of pseudo-intellectual hipster playground for those who want to be seen as amazing writers but aren't willing to actually put in the effort. Yes, I know, some of my work is on Substack, mostly because I do like the formatting and ease-of-use of the platform, but I cannot stand the newly-added social-media elements and the type of "content" it breeds.
As far as interactivity goes, I enjoy a nice sense of community, but I like participation to be optional. I'm actually quite antisocial, and get anxious even putting myself out there, and especially anxious when people comment or reply or whatever, even though I do low-key enjoy the attention. It's a special kind of dissonance, I guess.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-08 11:31 am (UTC)Thoughts
Date: 2025-07-08 12:20 am (UTC)I can usually remember the problems too, just feel they are or were outweighed by the good parts.
>>Often, when we’re actually living in that golden moment, we don’t even realize it,<<
I've learned to recognize perfect days, and excellent seasons. Beyond that it gets more challenging.
>> dad refusing to use text messaging because back in his day you had to call people and actually hear their voice, and, according to him, there’s just something incredibly anti-social about text messaging, <<
Science does seem to indicate that modern society is much less connected than it used to be. There are many causes, but some of the technology contributes to it.
>> grown adults who haven’t played a new video game or watched a new movie in twenty years because they just don’t make ’em like they used to or whatever.<<
I never did care for video games much.
I do watch new movies, and some of the modern ones are truly spectactular. But much of modern taste is outright off-putting to me. Humiliation scenes, fake tension, and gray-on-gray morality leap readily to mind. It's okay if other people are into that, I'm just not. Scroll back a few decades, and it was a different batch of mainstream traits turning me off much of it.
>>Anyway, the point is, that’s why I’m here,<<
The Follow Friday Master Post has lists of active communities by topic where you can look for some based on your interests. Many bloggers use recurring posts to pin down their key interests and maintain activity, which is also a good source of inspiration if you aren't sure what you want to post yet. The current big event is the
This isn't exactly the same as old LiveJournal, but it's probably the closest still running. Many people have tried modern social media and find that they miss the feeling of LJ and other long-form blogs. So if that's what you're after, mention it whenever you do introductions, and that'll help you find others.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-07-08 02:48 am (UTC)Thanks for pointing me to the community page, really appreciate it.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-07-08 03:14 am (UTC)